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New York Sending Busloads of Malignant Narcissists to Texas

In a tit-for-tat move that has prompted Texas Governor Greg Abbot to declare a state emergency, New York has started to send busloads of malignant narcissists south to the Lone Star state.

Describing the impact the scores of fraudsters, hucksters and con-men who have already arrived as 'potentially devastating' for Texas, Abbot denounced New York Governor Kathy Hochul's campaign of retribution for the thousands of migrants Abbot has shipped in the opposite direction as 'infantile and dangerous'.

"Already just in the past few weeks dozens of new so-called luxury golf resorts have broken ground throughout Texas. Built on the cheap using contractors who are likely not going to be paid, these ramshackle condos are nothing more than gold-painted slums," Abbot fumed.

Texan authorities have issued a red-alert to its citizens over the rising flood of crooks entering their state, warning them to be wary of any newcomers.

"Often identifiable by their cheap suits and big, fake hair, these Yankee carpetbaggers are not to be trusted," Texas Rangers Chief Price Daniel admonished. "Highly deceitful and manipulative, these men are capable of a range of crimes – from romance scams and sexual assault to mortgage, insurance and even election fraud."

As of press time, the rate of white collar crime has already spiked by over 200% across Texas in the last month.

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