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Trump Sends Family of Fallen Green Beret 6-Foot Party Sub ASPCA: Pets Assuming Heavy Burden in Trump Era
DOW
Climate Change Skeptic Denies Occurrences of Recent Hurricanes
Donald Trump Awards Medal of Honor to Himself
NASDAQ
Residents of Wehateniggersville Push Back Against Name Change
S&P
Naked Sarah Huckabee Sanders Defends Trump's Recent Nudity
Can Super 8 be Converted to DVD
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Conservative Gals '79 is Fine' Counters Women's Movement
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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com
Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
Still facing fallout over a phone call he placed to the widow of a Green Beret killed in Niger last week that many deemed insensitive, Donald Trump sought to mend fences with the family today by sending a Subway party sub to their home. "It's the least I could do for these people, these terrific people who really are wonderful people - whose husband, son, and possibly father paid the ultimate price for this terrific country of ours... so that they can enjoy a sandwich as beautiful as this, which I have given them... (More)
9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

Opinion
Ooh! Look at My Son, the Big Shot President! - By: Fred Trump - Oh, hey everybody! If it isn't my son Donald, the big shot President! Just look at him, sitting at his big, important desk in his big, snazzy Oval Office in his big, fancy White House. Whoop-dee doo! President Trump! Who would've guessed... (More)
Recent News
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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