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| Handsome, Articulate New President Suggests Donald Trump All a Bad Dream |
• President Trump Sculps 'Perfect' Statue From Own Excrement |
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| • Plucky Band of Racist Children Start Work on Border Wall |
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| • Lori Loughlin's Mother Arrested in Prison Admissions Plot |
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| • Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com |
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The man who took the podium at a White House press conference this morning is continuing to claim that he, not Donald Trump, is the President of the United States. "I'm the President, so let's stop this foolishness and get back to business," the man, handsome and well-spoken, responded to repeated questions from reporters asking where Donald Trump was. "Honestly, I've never heard of the fellow. If I may now resume my summary of the ongoing trade negotiations with China," said the man, who... (More)
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• Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel |
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Sliding Window
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Fill out a US Visa application before your holiday
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• Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins |
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Make sure to acquire your e111 card before traveling to Europe
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Opinion |
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 Ooh! Look at My Son, the Big Shot President! - By: Fred Trump - Oh, hey everybody! If it isn't my son Donald, the big shot President! Just look at him, sitting at his big, important desk in his big, snazzy Oval Office in his big, fancy White House. Whoop-dee doo! President Trump! Who would've guessed... (More) |
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 Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More) |
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 Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil |
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 Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police |
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 Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)
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