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Trump Replaces Fired NSC Official with Biological Trump Clone Trump Signs Order Making English Official Language of World
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Actor John Hurt Luckily Dies
CIA: Chinese Hackers Helped Elect New Tenn. Governor Zhipeng
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Neil Young Quarantined After Musicians Declared Endangered
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New-Look Democrats Introduce Racist Platform
Can Super 8 be Converted to DVD
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White Leaders Reveal Time, Place Appropriate for Black Protest
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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com
Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
Declaring his utmost confidence in himself to head the National Security Council's Western Hemisphere division, Donald Trump introduced a biological clone of himself to replace the ousted Craig Deare, who was fired Friday after making statements critical of the president. "Nobody is more qualified than me to do the best job, which is why I have the biggest faith in myself to do it," the progenitor Trump remarked on his pick of himself during a morning press conference. Demonstrating a lurching gate on his way to the... (More)
9 Dead After Police Mistake White Shooters Yellow Gun for Banana
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins

Opinion
But I Don't Wanna Go Back to Work! - By: Dale Kuyack - I don't care if I miss the bus. I don't wanna go back to work. And you can't make me! Please don't make me. I'm old and sickly. And I don't wanna. All the other employees are going to be less than half my age, and they're going to laugh at me... (More)
Recent News
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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