Dozens More Trump Voters Set Selves Ablaze in Crucial Swing States

Larry Pahlson, a 37-year-old man who set himself on fire outside of City Hall in Philadelphia yesterday, has died, local police said.

Pahlson, a conspiracy theorist attempting to prove his theory that gasoline is not flammable, was just one of hundreds of Trump supporters to have self-immolated over the past week, including dozens in swing states whose electoral votes could be crucial to deciding the presidential race in November.

"It's one thing when a Trump voter lights himself on fire in New York City, or launches himself into the side of a building in Seattle, but when they start doing it in droves in Phoenix and Atlanta, we have a problem," Allen Fuches, President of 'Newt-Non', an organization which disputes the existence of gravity, pointed out.

"Every vote is of critical importance this year. These deaths are not only tragic for the individuals and their families, but for our country," Fuches added before jumping off Detroit's Ambassador Bridge this morning.

Also of concern for Trump's re-election propects, the mass suicides could have a disquieting effect on independent voters, Donald Jefferies of the American Conservative Union speculates.

"Honestly, it could give them the idea that we're kind of nutty," Jefferies noted.