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White Supremacist Loses Big On Jeopardy

45 year-old truck driver and avowed white supremacist Luke Chandler of Alabaster, Alabama finished his appearance on Jeopardy this Thursday with a score of –22,600, a new record low for any contestant on the game show since its inception in 1964.

Chandler, who mentioned needing the prize money from the show to fix several leaks in his roof before declaring the Aryan race superior to all others during his first round interview with host Alex Trebek, earned his dubious distinction by responding incorrectly to every question he ventured an answer for en route to a last place finish behind a Malaysian attorney and an African American school teacher.

“Talk about a total dumbass,” remarked one member of the studio audience, “That KKK dude wasn’t even close on anything. For the answer ‘The genetic information of a non-prokaryotic cell is stored here’, he said ‘In the back’, and he even got one about Nazis wrong. He said the name of the prison Hitler wrote Mein Kampf was ‘Hitler’.

Reportedly, ABC received over two thousand calls of complaint from outraged viewers within an hour of the show’s airing. According to a network spokesperson, most related specifically to Mr. Chandler’s attire – a full Ku Klux Klan costume, his intermittent shouting of white supremacist slogans throughout the show, and his answer to a question requiring the knowledge of the name of the first African American to serve as a US Supreme Court Justice to which he quipped: 'Some nigger judge'.

Remarked Jeopardy Executive Producer Harry Friedman, “I can see why people would be offended, and it certainly bears investigating why somebody so overtly racist and plainly incompetent could qualify for the show in the first place. That being said however, I feel it was amusing to watch Mr. Chandler undermine whatever credibility the white power movement might have left, and in light of his miserable performance I’d challenge anyone to argue otherwise.”

Added Friedman, snickering: “And personally I thought his outfit was hilarious. Just look at him – he looked like a giant tampon up there, getting every question wrong.”

For his part, Mr. Chandler blames his poor showing on the machinations of Jeopardy’s ‘liberal producers’ who, he claims, bias the show’s questions to favor its minority contestants.

“Maybe if there were more questions about hunting and NASCAR and less about fried chicken and mariachi music I would've done better. Course those Jew producers know what they’re doing – that’s why a guy like me could never win on their dumb show.”

A review of the show’s transcripts indicates it contained no questions related to fried chicken or mariachi music.

 
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