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Fed Spokesman Reports Economy Going All to Shit Obscurity RatesStudy: 99.9% of Americans Suffering from Obscurity - A new study indicates that, despite their very best efforts, most Americans are not at all famous. A collaborative effort between over one hundred researchers in twenty laboratories on fifteen campuses across the... (More)  
New Birth Control Pill Turns Women into Christian Fundamentalists - A new form of contraception that turns its user into a fundamentalist Christian will soon be available to American women after receiving final approval from the FDA... (More)      
Fucked Up Family Circus

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Pharmaceutical Company Invents New Mental Disorder    
Immigrant Children Taking US Kids' Jobs
Appearing before the House of Representatives this morning, economist and Federal Reserve Board of Governors member Randall Mishkin surprised as many on Capitol Hill with his assessment of the nation's economy as he did with the stark language he employed to do so. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not going to jerk you off," Mishkin prefaced his opening remarks, "The economy is going all to shit." ... (More)
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  Arizona Deports Thousands of Useless People    
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Shaky Global Economy Sends Kitty Prices Soaring
House Passes $500 Billion Funding Bill for War on Women
Inmates Wanted: New Private Prison Announces 3,000 Openings
Is Mount Rushmore Being "Muslim-ified"?
Poll: 4% of Americans Vampires
Government Plan Offers Incentives for Abortions, Suicide
American Consumers Eating More from Free Food Group
FBI: White Supremacist Group Keeping Busy Playing "Race War"
Pawlenty Presidential Exploratory Committee Vanishes in Arctic
Republican Senator James Inhofe Changes Party, Sex