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| Latest News |
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Recent News |
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| Fed Spokesman Reports Economy Going All to Shit |
 Study: 99.9% of Americans Suffering from Obscurity - A new study indicates that, despite their very best efforts, most Americans are not at all famous. A collaborative effort between over one hundred researchers in twenty laboratories on fifteen campuses across the... (More) |
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 NASA’s Announcement of Plan to Put Black Man on the Moon Takes Country by Mild, Restrained Surprise After asounding the nation yesterday with the announcement that the United States plans to return to the moon by 2010... (More) |
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| More National News |
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| • ICE Raids Liberate Terrible New Jobs, Homes for Americans |
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| • “God Hates Cripples” Says Christian Fundamentalist Group |
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Appearing before the House of Representatives this morning, economist and Federal Reserve Board of Governors member Randall Mishkin surprised as many on Capitol Hill with his assessment of the nation's economy as he did with the stark language he employed to do so. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not going to jerk you off," Mishkin prefaced his opening remarks, "The economy is going all to shit." ... (More)
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• Student Kills 47 at Military School, Voted Valedictorian |
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• New Pfizer Study Reveals Majority of Infants Clinically Depressed |
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• Limb Dismemberment Craze Excites Teens, Worries Parents |
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• Video Games Causing Seniors to Think They're Wizards, Fairies |
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• Diebold Voting Machines Come To Life, Attack Democrat Voters |
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• Government Plan Offers Incentives for Abortions, Suicide |
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• Nationwide Scavenger Hunt to Give Barren Couples Life Mission |
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• Real Estate Agencies Resorting to Bloody Gangland Tactics |
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• Republican Senator James Inhofe Changes Party, Sex |
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• Right-to-Life Families Refusing to Give Up on “Dead” Relatives |
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• Poll: 4% of Americans Vampires |
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• Credit Card Companies Begin Breaking Legs, Thumbs |
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• Donald Rumsfeld Torturing Wife at Family Home |
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• American Consumers Eating More from Free Food Group |
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• Poll: 50% of Americans Still Give a Shit about Abortion |
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• Republican "Frankenstein" Candidate Attacks Obama in Debate |
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• Americans Return to Preschool Prior to Communist Conversion |
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