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Pawlenty Presidential Exploratory Committee Vanishes in Arctic Circle
Search parties continue to scour the vast Canadian arctic for survivors of Tim Pawlenty's Presidential Exploratory Committee after it went missing somewhere in that vast, desolate wilderness earlier this month.
"The almost immediate resort to cannibalism is alarming to say the least," remarked Canadian Arctic Ranger Commander David Hitchcock, "Unless found quite soon, I am afraid these people will continue to aimlessly wander the barren landscape, subsisting only on one another's flesh."
A note attached to Kesler's remains stated: "Tried to shoot a seal. Alex was much easier. Sorry."
As of noon today, Pawlenty officially changed the vanished committee's status from "exploratory" to "lost". He has yet to reveal whether he plans to form any future committees.
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