Kitty Pounces Ahead of Trump, Clinton for Pwesident!

A fuzzy funny kitty has pounced ahead of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, the latest presidential polls show.

Yes he did. Didn't he? Yes he did! That fuzzy funny kitty.

According to the latest Rasmussen Reports survey, kitty has double digit leads over both his major human opponents, and why not? Unlike Clinton and Trump, who are disliked by a majority of Americans, everybody loves kitty. Yes they do!

Kitty has never compromised classified information or said insulting things about Mexicans, Muslims, women or Jews. No he didn't! No he…

Well, maybe the Jews.

Have you seen how kitty likes to rumble up and down the hall and pway with his little ball of string? Or how he sweeps on top of the suitcase in the closet so we never weeve him all awone? So we never weeeeeve?

Ahhhhh! So cute!

Kitty is so precious! And he wants to be pwesident! Yes he does. Yes he does. He wants to be pwesident so bad. That cuddly, snuggly kitty! Let's make him Commander and Chief so we can dwess him in a little suit and send him all over the world. Just imagine Pwesident Kitty speaking before the UN.

"Meow!" his little voice would squeak, everyone's hearts would melt, and there'd be no more war.

Yay Kitty! Vote Kitty for Pwesident! Hooray!