NASA’s Announcement of Plan to Put Black Man on the Moon Takes Country by Mild, Restrained Surprise

After asounding the nation yesterday with the announcement that the United States plans to return to the moon by 2010, the revelation that one of the five men participating in the NASA mission will be an African American has taken most of the country by a more mild, restrained surprise today.

"A black guy's going to the moon? Well, why not?" read the subject line of a comment posted on a Yahoo! message board this morning, "The world's best golfer is black, and there's a good chance our next president will be black, so I'm not overly shocked. It's not like I'd say that this is the culmination of a triumvirate of unfathomable weirdness signalling that we've slipped into some sort of bizarro-world parallel universe or anything."

Indeed, the news that astronaut Leland Melvin is an African American whose background in geochemistry entails he will spend up to several hours on the actual moon has elicited a modicum of amazement throughout the populace that has slowly begun to evolve into measured cheer.

As CNN's Lou Dobbs opined last night in response to a caller questioning whether Melvin's race should even be considered relevant, "I think it’s a great thing for their race… which is to say the human race. So it’s good for everyone. Obviously it’s not a big deal. In fact, it’s not a deal at all. It’s no deal. I’m sure he’s a fine astronaut."

Still, not everyone in contemporary America is so open minded about the prospect of an African American voyaging to the moon.

Groused some guy outside a truck stop in Oklahoma: "A nigger on the moon? I've been sayin' for years, 'What's next, a nigger on the moon?'. Next thing you know, there'll be a damn woman on Mars."

Not anytime in the near future, according to NASA, which cites insufficient research data on the potential for the unique gravitational forces that exist on the moon and Mars to disrupt a woman's menstrual cycle and cause her to freak the fuck out.