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Raging Dumpster Fire Visits Arizona, Nevada
TUCSON, AZ - A flaming dumpster made an appearance at Tucson International Airport this afternoon, serving as the centerpiece of a mass gathering designed apparently to spread COVID-19 to as many Arizonians as possible.
Rolled from Air Force One a little after two o'clock, the dumptser raged on the airport's tarmac for nearly an hour, allowing its delighted supporters ample time to maximize the transmission rate of the fiery receptacle's third superspreader event of the day.
"Media bad! Media not fair!" the dumpster flared early during the event, reiterating similar remarks critical of the press it has made in recent days. "Media mean! Media bad!"
Fueled by the boisterous crowd, the blazing garbage container fed the flames with cheer and chant lines that would most certainly promote the dissemination of the Coronavirus amongst its mostly maskless ranks.
"Sleepy Joe takes all Wall Street money! Sleepy Joe socialist!" the fire bellowed. "Sleepy Joe Bad!"
Wrapping up by three, the dumpster fire is expected to make another stop in Las Vegas later tonight.
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