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NSA Promises to Shut Down Merkel Porn Site in Near Future

The National Security Agency announced today that a pornographic website featuring hundreds of private videos of German Chancellor Angela Merkel will be shut down in the near future.

The site, MerkeLoveXXX.com, offers visitors access to exclusive X-rated content of Merkel taken with NSA cameras from inside her private home, offices and bathrooms, and was discovered last week after receiving over 25 million hits since being launched in 2005.

President Obama, who has denied previous knowledge of the site, assured Merkel that he has never seen any of the videos - which reportedly include such titles as "Chancellor Takes Husband's Giant Frankfurter" and "Menkel Farts in Leather Chair".

"I have heard this site contains footage of Chancellor Menkel urinating, defecating and dressed in swimwear, and that's just wrong," Obama remarked.

NSA Deputy Director Mario Paredes, who earlier dismissed the site as "no big deal", reiterated that it will be taken offline soon.

"If people are going to make a whole thing out of it then we'll take it down," said Paredes, "I don't get it, though. You think at her age she'd be flattered."

 
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