Mexican Government to Take Up Border Fence Construction to Keep Americans Out

In a bold move designed to staunch an influx of Americans into their country, the Mexican government authorized spending today to take up the construction of a border fence initiated by the United States in 2004.

According to Mexican authorities, the decision to assume the completion of the fence along the 1,952 mile long stretch of land that divides Mexico and the United States came in response to a public outcry from Mexican citizens indignant over the flood of Americans who've begun pouring over the border in search of employment in the wake of the recent US economic downturn

"You can see them congregating in Starbucks and bank lobbies in every city across the country with their briefcases and resumes, asking for an account to manage or some product to market," grumbled Miguel Guerrero, a chemist from Guadalajara who claims he lost his job to an American willing to perform High Performance Liquid Chromatography for 120 pesos an hour, "They're everywhere. These border hoppers should go back to America where they belong."

"Hey amigo, where is el Starbuckso?" Guerrero added snidely in an exaggerated imitation of a southern California accent.

Mexican President Felipe Calderon argued in favor of completing the fence, stating, "We have a responsibility to enforce our laws. We have a responsibility to secure our borders and protect our jobs, and we take this responsibility seriously."

Still, some Mexicans remain opposed to the idea of erecting a physical barrier that will separate them from their neighbors to the north, and harbor sympathy for those who've braved so much to seek a better life in their country.

"I feel a little bad for them," Remarked Juanita Gonzalez of Juarez, Chihuahua, "They're only trying to pay for their frappuccinos and flat screen televisions."