"A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get into accord with them: they are legitimately what directs his conduct in the world" - Sigmund Freud"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet." - George W. Bush

Dr. Shill - Corporate Dream Analyst 
1st Installment
2nd Installment
3rd Installment
Practical Sex Advice For Sound Relationships - With: Barbara Bush - Dear Barbara, I'm 21 and have been dating this new guy for about two months now and I'm totally in love, except for one thing. My guy likes me to toss his salad, and normally I would be more than happy to oblige such a request (I actually really like the taste - usually), only in the case of my new guy it smells and tastes really bad. I tried dropping subtle hints that he needs to keep things more clean, but the problem seems to have only gotten worse. The other day I actually found a... (More)
Practical Sex Advice For Sound Relationships - (Second Installment) With: Barbara Bush - Dear Barbara, On the night of our first anniversary as a couple, I had just finished getting ready for what I thought was going to be a romantic evening when my boyfriend barged into the room and gave me a golden shower. His "surprise" stained my dress, ruined my makeup, and pretty much the entire night. Making things worse, he wouldn't apologize, saying he "thought I'd like it", which is pretty much in keeping with his sophomoric personality. What do you think, should... (More)
Ask Angelina Jolie - Dear Mrs. Jolie, -I really love my wife, but sometimes she gets on my nerves and I find myself smacking her around. For example, the other day I found out she didn't return a video we'd rented on time and I threw her through a closet door. I feel like I've done something wrong after one of these episodes, and my wife has told me on several occasions that she doesn't like it, but my friend (who's name I won't mention) said nothing is wrong with slapping your woman around now and then and that deep down they respect you for it because... (More)

DARE Presents - Hey Kids! Wanna Die? Come Play With Us! By: Drugs - Hey there kids! My name’s Cocaine! They call me that because snorting me is like snorting coca-cola and it causes a lot of pain!  Even though I look like soft white powder, when you look at me really, really close I look more like a million hungry cockroaches with big jagged razor-sharp teeth! (More)

Infiltrating an Anti-War Group - By: GOP Ninja - Welcome ninjas! Before commencing our lesson for today, I’d like to congratulate the Ohio ninjas for securing yet another four glorious years in office for our Chimp Master. He may not be the sharpest katana in the shed, but behind that baboon smile is the soul of a black widow - ready to devour her mate in the name of securing...(More)