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Modernized Version of War and Peace Less Long, Boring House GOP Introduce Bill to Reverse 2nd Law of Thermodynamics
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"Polk" A Death Metal Off-Broadway Flop
Trump to Stephen Hawking: "Shut Up, Stupid"
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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com
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Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, widely regarded as one of the most important novels of world literature, has been given a 21st century refashioning to make it less boring for modern readers. The original book, which is over 900 pages, details in profuse detail the events surrounding some old war in Europe from the perspective of dozens of characters with long Russian names that are nearly impossible to keep straight. Re-adapted by Random House's Tyson Kennedy - who admits to only... (More)
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
New ChastityBit Lets Parents Track Daughters' Sexual Activity
Hillary Picks Insult Comic Lisa Lampanelli as Running Mate

Opinion
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)
Recent News
Have I Mentioned Yet that My Parents Are Illiterate Shit for Brains? - By: Ted Cruz - You might assume from my presidential candidacy and position in the US Senate that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not so. I come from very humble beginnings. In fact... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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