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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Ancestry.com Hillary Clinton Picks Insult Comic Lisa Lampanelli as Running Mate
 
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Undead Antonin Scalia Returns to Rule Against Obamacare
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Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
Brady Peterson of Bridgewater, New Hampshire discovered he is 98% douchebag on Ancestry.com this week. According to the 33 year-old douchebag, he received his comprehensive genealogical report just 24 hours after submitting a DNA sample and the names of all his known family members to the service."Apparently I come from a long line of douchebags. On both sides of my family," Peterson remarked. "Which is surprising, because I always thought... (More)
Modernized Version of War and Peace Less Long, Boring
NRA: Americans Should Wear Bulletproof Tubes at All Times

Opinion
Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)
Recent News
Have I Mentioned Yet that My Parents Are Illiterate Shit for Brains? - By: Ted Cruz - You might assume from my presidential candidacy and position in the US Senate that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not so. I come from very humble beginnings. In fact... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police


 
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