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Man Discovers He is 98% Douchebag on Hillary Clinton Picks Insult Comic Lisa Lampanelli as Running Mate
Ted Cruz Announces Decision to Suspend Life
New ChastityBit Allows Parents to Track Daughters' Sexual Activity
Navy Launches First Gay Submarine
Yankees Re-sign Cancer Kid to One Year Contract
Can Super 8 be Converted to DVD
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9 Dead After Cops Mistake White Shooter's Yellow Gun for Banana
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Undead Antonin Scalia Returns to Rule Against Obamacare
Gitmo Prisoner One Butt Fucking Away from Revealing Key Intel
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
Brady Peterson of Bridgewater, New Hampshire discovered he is 98% douchebag on this week. According to the 33 year-old douchebag, he received his comprehensive genealogical report just 24 hours after submitting a DNA sample and the names of all his known family members to the service."Apparently I come from a long line of douchebags. On both sides of my family," Peterson remarked. "Which is surprising, because I always thought... (More)
Modernized Version of War and Peace Less Long, Boring
NRA: Americans Should Wear Bulletproof Tubes at All Times

Take Your Huddled Masses and Shove 'Em - By: The Statue of Liberty - Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Fuck off. Country's full. I know what my stupid plaque says. I don't care... (More)
Recent News
Have I Mentioned Yet that My Parents Are Illiterate Shit for Brains? - By: Ted Cruz - You might assume from my presidential candidacy and position in the US Senate that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not so. I come from very humble beginnings. In fact... (More)

Kochs Offset Gates Foundation with $550 Billion Donation to Evil

Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself - Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag - By: Jerry Wallingford - As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, unless of course thy neighbor is a fag... (More)

Man Protesting Death of Man Beaten to Death by Police Beaten to Death by Police

Fun Christian Christmas Coloring Pages
Fucked Up Family Circus